“I have to look after my little brother, I have to be sensible. I can’t be doing silly things like most teenagers.” Leith, 16.
There are over 175,000 young carers in the UK, that we know of. A young carer is a young person caring for someone with a physical or learning disability, illness or substance dependency at home.
“It’s rewarding because you’re helping someone you love but it is also hard as I have exams coming up and. I just need a bit of my own space.”
Efia, 15, looks after her autistic sister. “I help her get up in the mornings, and I look after her when she’s a bit lonely in the house, because she likes to wander about the place. I have to get her food ready when she comes back from school. Basically I just need to be there for her. I also care for my mum as she has depression, so I’m caring for her by caring for my sister and helping out like that.”
Phoebe, 18, looks after her mother. “It can be really stressful and lonely. You don’t get a chance to have a proper teenage life because you are always thinking about your caring responsibilities and you get stressed and then you can’t do your course work or homework from college and that stresses you even more. But on the other hand it can be quite rewarding because you are looking after a family member, and you don’t have to be asked to do that.”
These two young people are the lucky ones as they have found support through an organisation called Family Action. Many children and young people are falling through the net, and struggling.
A teacher from Knutsford High School, Cheshire said: “I had a young carer in my form for 3 years, and I never knew he was one, I’m supposed to know all about him and I didn’t have a clue. Once we did find out we tried to help him out but I think after 3 years of struggling in school because he had so much to do at home, it was a bit too late. He missed out on the education he should have had.”
But why do some young carers keep their situation to themselves? Is it a question of young carers not wanting to speak up for fear of being bullied for being different? Or is it the fact that for the young people who looks after someone at home, that is the real world for them and it is just normal daily life? They don’t actually consider, or know that they are a young carer?
“I don’t find it hard being a young carer, but I have to admit I only found out that I am one when you told me what one was. I just feel like a normal child, but caring for somebody else.” Kane, 12, looks after his disabled mother. We met him while out on the street, asking what people thought about young carers.
Just after we spoke to Kane, we spoke to a youth worker. “I think young carers play a massive role. They are the ones that hold things together.
“I think it can be a secret thing. The young people I have worked with are sometimes embarrassed; they don’t want their friends to know that their mum or dad is dependent on them.
“The young carers I have met have found it hard.
“I understand that this is not the case for all young carers. I’m glad that you guys love it. It’s a positive thing for you and you love the person you look after, and that’s amazing. But some of the young people I have worked with are drained.
“Maybe that is a reflection on the person you are looking after, ...they have made you the person you are. They give out that energy. But if the person you care for wasn’t the person they are and you didn’t have the strength ...then the circumstances might have been different, tougher and stressful.”
Some people think that young carers are undervalued, under helped, lonely, and underappreciated. Not by the family at home but the outside world. That it can be hard enough being young as it is, struggling with school and growing up, but on top of that having to care for someone at home. However, young carers just carry on and take it in their stride, and having a support mechanism can really help.
Efia, 15, said: It’s rewarding because you’re helping someone you love, but it is hard as I have exams coming up and I just need a bit of my own space. So young carer groups, like Family Action help, as it gives me a bit of respite. But that sometimes makes me feel guilty as I’ve left my mum to look after my sister on her own, and I don’t know what she is up to, you know, if I was there then I could help her.”
Hamza, 15, looks after his mother with a heart problem.“It is rewarding and I know I’m doing something good. I care for my mum and I enjoy it because it’s my mum. She has given so much for me and now I’m helping her out. It can be frustrating, tough and restricting at times, but Family Action helps loads, and it’s good to come together with other young carers that know what it’s like to be one.”
Joan Murray is also impressed with Family Action. Joan has a balance problem and finds it hard to walk. She is looked after by her daughter Abigail.“I think it’s important that Abigail gets to spend time with other young carers and get support from them. They are all caring people after all, so will care for one another.”
This article was produced by Abigail Murray, 15, Phoebe Necel, 18, Efia Boateng-Sarpong, 15, Fatmata Cole, 12, Laroz Aziz, 10, Georgia Irwin-Ryan, 11, Leith Mohammed,16, Hamza Amir, 15
Part of Family Action Young Carers Group. www.family-action.org.uk
