| Many adults assume that teenagers can not find love and that it is why they're "too young" to have sex. |
None of us would be here without it and knowing when the time is right from when it's not, is a thin line that appears blurred to many young people.
The age of consent in England is 16 but many young people are sexually active way before then. There are a lot of young people having sex out there…is it all about finding the right person to love that most of us dream of or is it just about having fun and finding ourselves?
Either way, are young people too young to be doing it?
It's too general to say that young people are having sex too young because there are just too many complex issues affecting when and why teenagers choose to start having sex. Being ready is not always about the age of the person. It's also about their personality, their experiences and how much information they have about safe sex. It's also about what kind of background they come from and what type of relationship they're in.
Dale's first sexually experience was when he was 13-years-old. It wasn't the right time for him because he didn't know the girl that well and he didn't care for her. He only did it because "it was there, so I took it."
Now aged 19 and looking back Dale says he realises how little he knew about sexually transmitted infections and about the risks they were both taking. Now that he's older, he thinks that young people should wait until they are 16, so that they know what they are getting themselves into when they have sex.
Many young people mistake sex with having a relationship. Ella Jess who works for the Sure Start Plus programme, which is a government initiative set up to support pregnant teenagers and teenage parents under 19, says that the majority of the 170 young girls that use their services every year are not sure what a relationship is and what it isn't:
"Often there is no dating or getting to know each other, they've never been to the pictures with a boy, never been to Pizza Hut to find out about each other and yet they have engaged in sex and had a baby."
Ella Jess also feels that her clients' lack of information about relationships is often matched by how little they know about safe sex and protection methods.
But not everyone thinks that they age they chose to have sex was wrong for them. Sarah, says that having sex at 16 was the right time for her because she had been with her boyfriend for a year and thought he was the "right one".
She agreed with Dale that the age of consent should be 16, not only for young couples so that they have time to get to know each other but more importantly so that they have enough information about sexual health and safe sex.
Sarah felt that she didn't know enough about these things at the time, however she says there's more information out there today to emphasise the importance of young people having access to it before they have sex.
Ella Jess thinks that although there are many services available to young people, they might not be "in the right places close to where young people spend their time, such as the barbers or on the road."
She believes that this is the one part of why young people have sex before they are ready, however, she also points out that there are many other factors that reduce the development of young people's understanding of sex and relationships, like parents' lack of confidence to talk to their children about sex, incomprehensive sexual health education in schools and the way the media portrays teenage sex.
16 (the age of consent) is just a figure. It doesn't include the complexity of the feelings and emotions teenagers are dealing with and all of the other realities of their lives. It's important when making decisions about young people's lives to realise the differences in their needs and experiences and to look at the factors that shaped their understanding of sex and sexuality.
Many adults assume that teenagers can not find love and that it is why they're "too young" to have sex. But what's more important is to support young people in understanding why they are having sex, whether it is right for them and if they choose to, that they stay safe.
For more information and advice on having sex, check out Sorted!
About the team
This story was produced by Rudie Heffron. It was published by Reach for the Sky.
