There was anger in Derry this week at allegations that a 13-year-old girl was fitted with a contraceptive “bar” at a sexual health clinic, but as Children’s Express reporter Nicole Lynch, 13, explains pressure is now being put on children as young as 9 or 10 to begin the dating process.
| When you think about it we grow up fast enough and we only have a tiny part of that time to be young. |
Nowadays in Derry City young people consider it weird or strange if you chose not to date. Many young people believe this is what you have to do, to be like everyone else and to be like your idols.
This week Derry’s health authorities came under fire amid claims that a 13-year-old girl was fitted with a contraceptive “bar” at a sexual health clinic. As a young person I am not surprised however.
It is taken for granted by so many young people in Derry that everyone dates, that when you don’t date you get criticized. People get called things like ‘‘frigget’’ (person who hasn’t kissed yet), and this kind of remark can really hurt someone. They can feel left out in many cases.
Many young Derry people rush into dating. Many are as young as 9 or 10 and they are never fully ready or prepared for the experience. With young people starting to date so young is it any wonder that teenage pregnancy remains a problem here in Derry. I won’t pin the blame on anyone because it really is no-ones fault, but I will say this, if we start to date so young and get into a seemingly serious ‘relationship’ mistakes can happen.
Terri (13) agrees. “People think on a first date that you have to kiss the person. After that people think you have to give them a certain amount, they think they should be allowed to touch you, be allowed to put your arm around you and you might be uncomfortable with that. You don’t have to do what they ask you to do or they tell you to do, I mean, come off it!”
As a teenager Terri knows that many of her friends and schoolmates are under pressure to go further. “It depends on what age group. With younger people aged eight and nine, nothing’s actually happening, they kiss each other on the lips, but then at my age, I’ve heard of people sleeping with each other, drinking, all sorts, it’s mad.”
When you think about it we grow up fast enough and we only have a tiny part of that time to be young. Why waste that time trying to find someone to go out with? That just makes you worry and we have the rest of our lives to do that.
Live life the way you want to not the way other people want you to live. I won’t put teenage dating down because, as I know from my own experience, this is around the time people start to fancy boys or girls. If you feel you are ready to date nothing should stop you, but when you are only 8 or 9 there is so much else you could be doing.
There really is no rush and if people do say anything to you don’t listen because you have to do what feels right for you. We have our own lives to lead. Why should we try to be like anyone else?
About the team
This story was produced by Chidrens Express Foyle reporter Nicole Lynch, 13. It was published by Derry News on Sunday.
