While 13-year-old Children's Express reporter Andrew Bailie is looking forward to this year's Christmas festivities, he is unsure how he will cope with painful memories of a friend's suicide
| Young people need to know – no matter what the problem is – it is never worth taking your own life. |
In spite of all the food, tinsel and presents, Christmas can be a really lonely time, fraught with emotional memories.
Last spring, Paul, my best friend, committed suicide by overdosing on his dad's sleeping tablets. He was only 13 years old.
The pressure got too much for him when his girlfriend became pregnant.
The note he left said good-bye to every-one.
He told his girlfriend that he loved her and hoped the baby would be healthy; he also explained that he was leaving this world because he could not cope with the pregnancy.
I really miss him; he was a friend I could talk to.
Every Christmas, we used to go shopping together. He would stay over at my house for a couple of days and we would have a laugh, mess about and do what best friends do.
This Christmas is the first time in eight years that we won't be together.
I thought that things this year couldn't get much worse - but they did.
Paul's girlfriend had their baby at the beginning of December but it died a few days after birth.
She feels angry and sad. She has been talking to me and Paul's mum a lot about how much she misses him. He was her friend and she talked to him about stuff thirteen year olds talk about. They were really close.
I went to the funeral and all those difficult memories came flooding back.
I feel sorry for my friend's girlfriend. Imagine losing your boyfriend and your baby in the space of nine months.
It is all hard to come to terms with.
Young people need to know - no matter what the problem is - it is never worth taking your own life.
Society, particularly adults, are sometimes too judgemental and put too much pressure on young people when they make a mistake or do something wrong.
As young people, when we mess up, we need support - not punishment and judgement from older people.
I miss my friend so much and I wish he had talked to me instead of killing himself.
If you ever consider the option of suicide, take a few moments to talk to someone and you may just change your mind.
If you don't want to talk to someone you know, try Child-Line 0800 1111 - some-one will listen and maybe make a difference.
About the team
This article was written by Andrew Bailie, 13, and was published in the News Letter.
