A face full of spots may be a worry for most teenagers, but it isnt such a big deal when you have to cope with the fact that you or members of your family are HIV positive or have full-blown Aids.
| I cant talk about my dads death. I could say if hed died of cancer, but I cant say my dad died of Aids. |
Lynn, 15, is one of seven youngsters in Islington who know this only too well. Im HIV positive. I was told last year when I was 14. The nurse told me I contracted the virus through a blood transfusion when I was a baby. I needed that transfusion but it was a high price to pay.
In the UK in 1998, 1,000 under-14s were HIV positive many as a result of contaminated blood transfusions and 9,000 more were living with HIV and Aids in their family.
Lynn wasnt impressed that something so important had been kept from her. Many young people feel cheated when theyre the last to know about something that directly affects them. My dad knew I was infected but he didnt tell me because he thought I was too young. I should have known from the beginning. Ive always been asking myself, Why I am so sick all the time?
Lynn finds it difficult to decide who to tell. One of my school friends knows. She was glad I told her because she was always asking me why I was off school so much. Now she knows theres a good reason, shes OK about it.
Lynn and other young people with Aids often have to take up to 15 tablets a day at specific times. It can be hard to do this at school without your friends noticing and asking questions. Im afraid of peoples reactions things like, You can catch HIV or Aids by sharing a toilet or, Only gay people catch HIV and Aids, so I dont tend to tell them.
Even with supportive friends and family around, young people like Lynn can feel isolated. I try not to think about it all the time and I do have people I can talk to which really helps, but I feel alone. I get help from my dad too. He tells me to think positive.
People with family members with HIV are just as stigmatised as those with the virus themselves. My mothers HIV positive from a blood transfusion and my father died from Aids when I was six, said Chantel, 14, who does not have the virus. It wasnt until I was eight that I found out my dad had Aids and I didnt really understand what it meant. I was shocked when they told me hed died. I said, What was the matter with him? and they just said, Daddy was sick. Being told what the illness was later reassured me because at least I knew he didnt die for no reason.
Often young people only discover their relatives have Aids or are HIV positive by putting two and two together. I found our my mum was infected while watching a programme on Aids. The symptoms made me think, Thats what happened to Dad. One day I just blurted out, Mum, have you got Aids? and she started crying. Eventually she said, Yeah, I have.
Day to day, Chantel has to hide what goes on at home. Ive grown up with HIV but in school I have to pretend it isnt part of my life. Its like having two personalities. I cant tell people about my dads death and thats really hard. I could say if hed died of cancer, but I cant say my dad died of Aids.
At school, we dont get educated properly about HIV and Aids. Some people in my class seem to know a lot about Aids and other people really shock you with their ignorance.
I had to change my name to talk about this. People think HIV is dirty. I cant tell the world how I feel because of the reactions Id get. Its not right that people live in fear of people finding out about their HIV status.
All names have been changed
About the team
Interviews by Darell Philip, 17, Lizzie Kenyon, 14, and Ruth Sewell, 14, Kierra Box, 13, and Ben Feder, 12. This article was published in the Highbury and Islington Express.
