From Hackney to St Ives the good, the bad and the so-so
Moving house – is it always a nightmare for children?
| At first I thought Id make friends easily, because I always have. Now Im feeling a bit more uneasy. |
Last year, the teenage Webb brothers left London with their mother and set off to a new home in Cornwall. St Ives had been the object of the annual family exodus from the city, so for 15-year-old Martin and his brother, Toby, 13, moving house could have seemed like a dream come true. After all, who wouldnt jump at the chance to go on holiday and stay there?
When I think of Cornwall, I think of holidays, a seaside life of going on walks and trips to the park., Martin had said breezily when he first learned about the move.
But on the eve of their departure from London, he confessed that he was less sure about it. At first I thought Id make friends easily, because I always have. Now Im feeling a bit more uneasy. They might talk about rugby and surfing and things I dont know.
Had he shared his trepidations with his mother? Ive never really talked to her about it because I might hurt her feelings. She has always wanted to live in Cornwall.
It seemed likely that the biggest impact of the move was going to be on the boys relationship with their father. In Hackney, the boys had been able to divide their time equally between both parents since they separated, three years ago.
Clearly, that was about to end. However, their father encouraged them to see the move as an opportunity. He says we should go, said Martin. He says itll be good for me. It helped to know that their father planned to open a second book shop in nearby Truro.
Martin was also anxious about losing his friends in London. Ive said Ill give them my phone number. When Im in London seeing my dad, Ill phone and see if they want to go out. Maybe in the holidays they can come down to Cornwall. But I think well drift apart. Theyve already started taking the mick out of me, calling me Farmer Giles.
Starting a new school with GCSE options looming was another worry for Martin. Ive got lots of choices for my GCSEs but because I havent got a place in the school yet, I might not get the one I want.
But moving also presented some distinct advantages. Toby was looking forward to a slower and healthier lifestyle. My asthma gets worse when the pollutions bad but, because Cornwalls not heavily populated and there are not loads of cars streaming through, it will be better down there. Itll be calm.
Martin said: Our house is quite far away from the main town so well get a lot more exercise because we will do a lot more walking and going to the beach. I might even have to walk to school.
The move passed off without major problems. But soon a few doubts set in. It was our new place and we were really excited to be there, says Toby, but then we were all really, really tired and worrying about what to do next.
Once the new school year started, both boys established themselves effortlessly on the local social scene. On the first day in class I was introduced to people straight away. It was a lot easier than I thought to make friends, says Martin. After the third or fourth day, people started asking Do you want to play football or do you want to come to the canteen? Then they started ringing up and asking me out to the cinema.
It was the same for Toby. Everybody wanted to know me, he says. Theyd come and call for me all the time and I quickly had 30 friends, maybe more. They made a big effort if you were having difficulties.
Fitting in involved only superficial adjustments. The clothes are a lot more surfy and skateboardy. Theyre into skate shoes and baggier trousers whereas I was used to wearing jeans and shirt, and Reebok Classics, explains Martin.
Dealing with different accents proved not to be the big deal Martin had anticipated - though he has picked up the nickname the Cockney guvnor.
Perhaps the most welcome change was being able to hang out on the streets with nothing more menacing than a sea breeze to disturb the atmosphere.
Nevertheless, both boys miss what they have lost. In London, my friends were a lot more laid back. Here, parents pressure them to do things. Theyve got to live that certain lifestyle, says Martin. Toby agrees: I miss my old friends a lot. They were relaxed and most of them like the same things as me. Here theyre into rugby and I hate sport.
THEY were surprised to find more alcohol and drugs doing the rounds, and upset to find that racism was rife. Its really bad down here, says Toby. Id noticed it before we moved but when we got here it hit me how bad it actually was.
Martin agrees: A lot of my friends in London were black or Asian and I feel really bad when I hear people slagging off others. I stand up to it, but its difficult because so many people are racist.
Contrary to expectations, relations with their parents have improved. A year on, though Martin confesses to more arguments with his mother, he reckons theyre got to know each other better, too. And from their fathers second base in Truro, the boys make regular excursions to play tennis or have a drink at the pub better than the old routine of collapsing in front of the television together night after night.
However, adjusting to their new school has not been easy. I dont think Im really suited to the sort of education they give at this school, says Martin. They do a lot of exams and mid-term tests and they expect too much of me. I wasnt one of the stupid people at my old school, but the kids here are so clever, its unbelievable. The teachers look down at you all the time, whereas at my old school they talked to you a lot more like youre a person instead of just nothing.
Toby adds: In London, the teachers are more friendly and arent always just getting annoyed with you.
On balance, the Webb brothers say that moving to the other end of the country has been a success. Their new life is not better than their old one, they say just different.
Martin has mixed feelings: When Im here I really like it and Im glad we moved. But when I go to London, I wish I hadnt, he says.
Toby is more upbeat: Ive met so many people and St Ives is a nice place to be. Well have had a taste of two different lifestyles so we can work from both to give ourselves a lifestyle we would like to lead, not one were given. Its exciting.
About the team
This article was produced by Anastasia Thomas, 17, Gavin Fletcher, 15, Camille Noriega, 14, Gabriella Gay, 13, Ricky Allen, 12, Jamie Fletcher, 10, and Anoushka Thomas, 9. It was published in the Daily Telegraph.
