Continuing the Guardian's look at Women in the City, Children's Express examines the pros and cons of high-flying mothers.
| The idea of mum being at home all the time is a bit scary. |
My mum has always been very contented with her job. Having an unhappy mum who has to stay at home and not do what she enjoys would be a lot worse than having someone who is not around as much as she could be," says 15-year-old Louise Thompson, whose mother, Jane, aged 38, is a stockbroker with NatWest Markets, working an average week of 55 hours.
The idea of mum being at home all the time is a bit scary, because we like the sort of freedom we have when she's not around being very authoritative, she adds.
Her younger sister Ellie, aged 13, agrees. We see her a lot, and if she was at home all day it would just be a pain because we joke around with our nanny, but if mum hears, she takes it the wrong way - like all mothers," she says. Lottie, aged eight, puts it the most succinctly: We like her job the way it is. She likes it and we like her being there, too.
The Thompson sisters are pretty satisfied with their lives, contradicting findings about the disadvantages the long-hours culture. It even suggests the latter can be a boon to children's personal development and inter-generational relations. A 1995 research project, Time, Work and the Family, carried out by Parents at Work, backs them up, showing that working parents contribute to greater independence and confidence among older children (aged 11 and above), while younger children involved in after school activities benefit from the attention and activity involved.
However, the same report, which interviewed predominantly white collar women who routinely worked beyond their contractual hours, also revealed that 72 per cent of working mothers are exhausted at the end of the day, 61 per cent want flexible working hours, 51 per cent want greater access to after school schemes and half wanted help with childcare fees.
Jane Thompson is familiar with the stresses of juggling within such a driven environment. The problem faced by the average woman when she is a mother and working full-time in the City is that her brain never switches off. If she's not thinking about work, she's thinking about the children. Or the shopping or the ironing. It's never-ending. Men find it easier to switch off and go and play football or go to the pub.
The salaries that come with the territory help City mothers find a balance between the competing and sometimes opposing demands of work and family. Full-time professional childcare, dishwashers and an ample supply of weekend activities are just some of the features which contribute to the happy atmosphere in the Thompson household. But Jane and her daughters are quick to point out that luck has also played a part in their happiness.
Though separated from her husband, Jane says she has always been very supportive both of her career and his daughters well-being. Louise believes spreading time between both parents homes even represents an improvement. My friends dont experience the late meetings and my mum has to travel quite a lot. Now she can arrange it so that were with our dad when she is busy, so were not missing out on any of her time. We may have a different arrangement to any of our friends, but I dont think were suffering because of that.
Jane also describes Belinda - the live-in nanny who she can confide in like a friend as the other partner in this relationship.
Not every mother is as fortunate. Sarah Richards, aged 40, spent 20 years working in the City, latterly at Robert Fleming, before she decided that working part-time supplying financial training was the only way to see enough of her two sons. Eventually something has go to give, she says. Unless you have so much money that you can employ lots of staff, you have to be all things to all people. When I worked full-time, I had to leave home at seven thirty in the morning, I didnt see much of the boys and frankly, my mind was already in work mode, and by the time I got home, I was too shattered to face bedtime stories.
Janet Gayner, a partner at one of the leading City law firms, Simmons & Simmons, would probably agree. A mother of two daughters in their late teens, she feels combining work and motherhood is getting tougher. She says: Its harder for women coming through the firm now to combine the two roles. The office is a damn sight more stressful than it was in the late seventies when I started to do it. Even male colleagues, who wouldn't previously complain, are saying 'let me go home'. Our trainees also seem to be saying that if they only act as solicitors and are not getting a life, they will jack in the job.
Sarah Richards knows only one former colleague with children who is working some of the longest hours in Europe. Her comments go some way to explain the apparent dearth of full-time working mothers in the City.
Not one of the City's professional women's networks could identify members who are full-time working mothers. There are notable exceptions, such as Karen Cook, the director of European Corporate Finance at Schroders, who has six children, and is rumoured to have two nannies and "two of everything", and mother-of-five Nicola Horlick but they are very senior and rare.
Amanda Beckley, of Women in Banking and Finance, believes the lack of mothers in the City is only the tip of the iceberg. According to her, the next generation of City women may fail to find stable relationships and families, due to intense work pressures.
Instead, she believes they may have children on their own. "For the vast majority women I know, it is simply no longer the case that they grow up, meet men, get married and have babies the way they once did. But that doesn't mean the biological clock stops ticking. If you are running out of time and have the money and lifestyle to support a baby, then you should be allowed to have artificial insemination. Far better to take this more formal route, perhaps with counselling if you need it, than to have a string of casual partners.
But before City women considering motherhood throw in the towel, perhaps they should reconsider their ambitions. Certainly Sarah Richards' boys, Charlie, four, and Freddie, six, agreed: "the best thing about my mum is that we see her more". But they highlight the possible pitfalls of a more traditional family arrangement. While mum gets the boys through their daily routine, they say: "she can sometimes be a bit grumpy". Charlie enthusiastically describes the bicycle riding he does in the limited time he has with his father. And Freddie concludes: "Mum is more strict and dad, he's not strict."
However, the children understand their mothers' motivations for working and remain relaxed about their family role. "Mum coped much the same as every other parent," says Ellie Thompson. "She's always been there for us," says her sister Louise.
Helen Gayner, 19, recently left home for university. She says: "You're not trained to bring up children. You have to make it up as you go along. You can't plan too much because you never know what's going to happen. I don't really think my mum knew what she was doing. But there's nothing I'd change. I think she did fine. It worked out all right in the end.
About the team
Interviews by editors Julia Press, 17, Rachel Bulford, 16, Pete Campbell, 16, Salomey Ainoo, 17, Sonia Dance, 15, Stuart Fletcher, 14, Denis Shukur. 15, Shahi Ahmed, 15, Rachel Rielly, 15, Delwar Hussain, 17, Anna Chandwani, 14, Momtaz Begum-Hossain, 16, and reporters Gabriella Gay, 11, Cenk Ceki, 10, Chris Fletcher, 11, Koiya Donovan, 11, Sinead Kirwan, 12 and Eugene Asare, 11. This article was published in The Guardian.
